


There Was A Mistake in Your Definition Of Love And I Suffered For It

by Im_Here_And_My_Ships_Are_Queer



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Alternate Universe- No Supernatural, Child Abuse, Dean doesn't know why Bobby's so nice to him and he doesn't like it, Dean in Panties, Humiliation, Hurt Dean Winchester, I guess you could count it as Twink Dean, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, M/M, Non-Con humiliation, Non-Consensual Spanking, Sam's kinda a dick but really he's just a kid that doesn't know what's happening, Spanking, Will add tags as the story continues, i am probably going to hell for this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-03
Updated: 2017-12-31
Packaged: 2018-08-12 18:21:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 9
Words: 5,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7944589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Im_Here_And_My_Ships_Are_Queer/pseuds/Im_Here_And_My_Ships_Are_Queer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean Winchester doesn't know what love is. He's been abused by his father, been hated by his brother, been in an abusive relationship since sophomore year of highschool, and doesn't know what to do the one time someone in his family tries to help him. Then he meets a guy who seems to think he isn't the worst thing on the entire planet and Dean's little fucked up world gets thrown upside down.</p><p>Or: The thing where Cas loves Dean and Dean flips out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. So Much Change (i don't understand)

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing something this detailed and in depth so if you see any mistakes, let me know, but please be kind.

No one knows it, but Dean Winchester doesn’t remember what love feels like. His mother had loved him but that was when he was a child, a baby, only four years old. Now he’s ten and doesn’t remember her other than what she was like the night she died.

 

_(Mom and Dad got into a fight again; Dean could hear it from his room. Baby Sammy was crying, he could hear that too, but Momma had told him that he shouldn’t ever leave his room when Daddy was yelling and she would come tell him when it was okay to come out again. So checking on Sam had to wait. After a long time, Mary came into Dean’s room to tell him goodnight. Sam had stopped crying by now. The woman had a red mark on her face and her arm looked like it hurt because she held it real close to herself, but Dean didn’t notice that until he looked back on the night later. The words she said didn’t make sense until he looked back either, “It’s okay Baby. Just go to sleep and remember that I love you. And I’m super sorry, but I won’t be here tomorrow morning when you wake up, okay? Just get ready for preschool like normal and get on the bus, alright?” Dean had nodded and said that it was alright. He was a big boy and he could get himself ready. He didn’t realize that he was telling her that he could live without her for the rest of his life._

_Mary Winchester was found dead in her bedroom the next day. Cause of death; Suicide the night before.)_

 

Sam’s now six years old and doesn’t remember their mother at all, but he knows he doesn’t like Dad. He always smells funny and acts real mean and leaves Dean in charge and doesn’t come back to the house until it’s real dark outside. Sam thinks Dean is mean too, but not the same kind of mean as Dad. Dean doesn’t let him get toys at the grocery store, or get candy, and he doesn’t let Sam pick out some clothes because he says they cost too much and he always says that they don’t have food but Sam’s hungry and one time, Dean didn’t let Sam turn on any lights in the house because they didn’t “have the money” but that’s ridiculous because Sam doesn’t know electricity costs money.

 

________________________

 

“Dad’s home, Dean!” Sam yells into the two bedroom house from the couch in the living room.

 

Dean always told Sam to tell him when John gets home so that he doesn’t walk through the house in his school clothes again. John doesn’t like Dean going to school, he thinks that the boy should stay home and take care of Sam, so the last time he saw Dean wearing his uniform, he beat the boy until he couldn’t walk to school for the next week. Dean was pretty sure he had gotten a sprained knee, but he didn’t ask to go to the doctor. That would’ve made it worse.

 

Dean knew John would be pulling up in his nice car and parking in the same spot he always did in front of the house after being gone for five days this time. He would be drunk and complaining. He would probably beat Dean for something and within twenty four hours, he’d be gone again.

 

John walks into the house and Dean can hear him ask his younger brother where Dean is in the same voice he once used to ask where the spider he needed to kill was.

The younger boy tells his father that Dean is in their room. Dean only has a few seconds to make sure that his backpack is under his bed and the clothes he took off aren’t visible on the floor before John walks in and the blonde boy is standing in the middle of his room waiting. They both know what’s going to happen, John’ll tell Sam to go play outside until it gets dark, then he’ll either beat Dean or make him play a “game”. The last “game” Dean was forced to play was See How Long You Can Stay in the Cabinet under the Kitchen Sink and he did not want to do it again. ( _He had been locked in there for six hours and of course John had put zip ties on the handles so that even after he left the room, Dean was still stuck, Then when Sam came back in and asked where Dean was, John told him that he had sent the older boy to the store and Dean could hear his brother complain about how Dean went to the store without him and he probably wouldn’t even get the right kind of cereal that Sam likes.)_

 

Today it was another “game”. John always kept the closet in the hallway empty for this game because he seemed to like this one a lot. Dean would strip then John would tie his hands and feet together, then gag and blindfold him before putting him in the empty closet. Dean would be left there for at least the whole night but he never knew the exact amount of time. Sam was always told that dean was at a friend’s house for the night. The wall between the boys’ bedroom and the closet was thin enough that Dean could always hear Sam complain about the fact that Dean got to go to friends houses for sleep-overs but he didn’t.

 

Dean always prayed that Sam never found out where he really was. That his little brother never had to go through this hell. That Sam never learned what it was like to know his brother hated him but not be able to explain that it wasn’t what he chose. He hoped Sam got out of the house before he did so John never moved to doing these things to him instead.

 

_______________________________

 

Dean was on a “break” from school (His right leg was broken but he hadn’t gone to the doctor yet to get a cast, couldn’t until John left again) during his freshman year, when John Winchester died. He was drunk and drove his car into a tree. If he had been in the impala, he would have been fine but instead he was in his girlfriend’s sucky ass car, Dean wasn’t supposed to know about her but he did, he knew that she and John had a son too. All those years of sensory deprivation “games” had made Dean’s hearing wonderful. John told Sam that the impala was in the shop and that was his rental and Sam believed him because he didn’t know about Kate and Adam, he didn’t know everything about John that Dean did and Dean chose not to tell him.

 

At the funeral is when Sam found out. He kicked and cried and cussed and said she was the reason he never had a real childhood, because she took his father and made him a worthless drunk. The older son knew better. John didn’t drink around Kate, he didn’t need to, and he only drank when he was coming home to his two children.

 

Adam introduced himself to Dean and tried to talk about John and ask how he was to them. He seemed surprised that Dean didn’t get to go to baseball games for his birthdays, Dean didn’t tell him what kind of sick twisted “games” he was forced to take part in instead.

 

A relative that the boys had only seen once or twice in their lives, named Bobby, took them in. Sam practically worshipped the ground the man walked on. Dean waited for the man to end up exactly like John.

 

But he didn’t start acting like John. He didn’t hit Dean or put him in small dark spaces. He encouraged Dean to go to school every day. It made Dean uncomfortable. No one should be this nice to him. He was a worthless piece of shit and he knew it.

 

One day Sam was outside playing with the dogs, Bobby was in the kitchen and Dean decided to find out what the fuck was happening. He marched his happy ass into the kitchen, sat on the counter and asked, “What’s up with you? Why are you nice to me?” Bobby didn’t look up from the stove and responded with, “What do you mean kid? And get off my counter like that; sit in the chair like a normal person.” The boy got up and moved to a chair and said, “Exactly. That’s what I mean. John would’ve beaten my ass for sitting on the counter while he was home, but you just tell me to move. I’ve waited since we got here for the nice guy act to stop but you’re still the same damn guy and I wanna know why.”

 

Bobby did look up at that, “Kid, I ain’t John Winchester and if I ever act like him, you have permission to kick my ass. Now go get Sam, dinner’s almost done.” And that was the end of it. Dean still wasn’t too sure about Bobby though.

 

_____________________________________

 

Tenth grade was the year that Dean got friends. An eleventh grader named Benny started eating lunch with him one day and after that his lonely lunch table started being filled with upperclassmen. Benny and his girlfriend Andrea were juniors, Castiel, his brother Gabriel, their cousin Michael and his best friend Raphael were seniors. No one really liked Michael and Raphael but they hung out with everyone anyway.

 

Benny couldn’t help but notice, “Dean, you must be fearless because you don’t flinch at anything. Seriously guys, he got threatened by Luke, you know the senior football player, for running into him and Dean’s face the entire time just looked like he was bored.” Andrea shook her head and said, “That guy scares me, I don’t think he’s all there.” Michael was very interested in this conversation and was watching Dean’s face throughout, while everyone else said how much Luke scared them.

 

After lunch Michael told Dean to wait a second. Dean knew by the tone in his voice that he should stay. That tone reminded him of broken bones and dark spaces. No one had spoken to him like that since John died. Once everyone else had left, Michael pulled Dean to the side and leaned closer like he was about to say something before punching dean in the face. Dean didn’t flinch, this was familiar ground to him, just take a punch and keep rolling with it until you can’t anymore and if a question gets asked, you answer with a “yes sir” until they leave you alone. You fight back and you could die, you do what they want and you survive.

 

Dean was standing there waiting for the next punch, when Michael leaned close and said, “You belong to me. Got it? You don’t date anyone else, you don’t fuck anyone else, you don’t think about anyone else. You’re mine to own, understand?” It took Dean a second to comprehend what was being said but once he did, he followed his survival skills, “Yes Sir. Can I go to class now?”

 

Michael seemed satisfied and nodded before saying, “Meet me after school at my car. I’m driving you home today” and walking away. Dean knew where Michael parked and what his car looked like, he’d had to go with Raphael to get his homework from the car (stand next to the car while Raphael smoked and talked with him so he wasn’t bored, no one else would ever go with him) more than once but he’d never rode in the car. There’s a first time for everything.

 

After school, Dean went straight to Michael’s car and didn't bother to tell Sam because his younger brother never walked with him anyway, Sam rode the bus.

 

Raphael was standing next to Michael and they were smoking. As soon as Dean got there, they got into the car. Michael driving, Dean in the passenger seat and Raphael in back. Raphael was dropped off at the two guys’ apartment first, and then Michael drove Dean to Bobby’s.

 

Once they arrived at Bobby’s, Sam was already there and Michael decided to walk Dean in and talk to Bobby and Sam. He’d seen Sam before but never spoke to him because Sam never had an interest in meeting Dean’s friends. Dean put his bag in his room and when he came back to the living room, Michael was asking Bobby if he could take Dean on a date that night. Bobby saw Dean in the doorway and Dean nodded before he said yes to Michael.

 

While Dean was changing, he heard Bobby tell Michael that if he hurt Dean, the man would personally cut off Michael’s dick.

 

They started off their date by getting Burger King and taking it to Raphael and Michael’s apartment. Then Michael put on a movie. Dean began watching the movie sitting a foot away from Michael on the couch but Michael paused it, told Dean to get up, laid on the couch, and situated Dean so he was laying on top of him with his head on the older boy’s chest, then started the movie again. The younger boy fell asleep halfway through the movie and woke up during the credits. Raphael came out of his room while the credits were still going and told dean that he’d take him home because Michael fell asleep too and waking him up wasn’t a good idea.

 

Before Dean got out of the car, Raphael kissed him. He sat there in shock for a good minute before asking why the older boy would do that when he knew he was dating Michael. Raphael laughed and said, “Seeing as how Michael and I have been having sex since junior year and always share boyfriends, I think it’s fine.”


	2. The fuck do you mean? People don't care.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More smol precious Dean and his self hating even though he doesn't deserve it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is really short, I know and I'm sorry but life is crazy right now so i don't have much time to write. I thought I'd be adding a new chapter once a week but that just hasn't happened and I am truly sorry to my faithful readers. Please bear with me on this.

Dean was sitting on the front porch and he could not breathe. Raphael had kissed him then explained to him that since he had agreed to date Michael, he agreed to date them both. Then he told him to get out of the car, so Dean did but he didn’t make it inside. It finally hit him, he didn’t even like Michael. No one likes Michael. 

Why’d he agree to date him? Michael had punched him in the face like he knew that would make Dean say yes to dating him. But then Michael had been nice and taken him on a date, a cheap date sure but still a date. And Michael let Dean lay on him. He wouldn’t have done that if he was just dating Dean so he could hit him, right?

 

_ I’m fifteen and I’m dating not one, but two eighteen year olds. That’s cool right? _

 

_________

 

Sam tried to ask how his date went but he just walked to his room and said he was tired so he was going to sleep. And even though he slept through a good bit of the movie, he was really tired now.

 

____________

 

The next day at school, Dean had someone walking with him to all of his classes. His boyfriends didn’t have a single class with him due to the fact that they’re two grades above him but at least one of them walked him to each of his classes. Lunch was strange because normally Dean, Benny, and Andrea sat in that order on one side of the table while Castiel, Gabriel, Michael, and Raphael sat in that order on the other side of the table. 

 

As soon as the three of them walked up to their lunch table, Dean could tell that the four at the table had been talking about them since they became eerily quiet once they got within earshot. With a look from Michael and Raphael, Gabriel moved to sit in Dean’s normal spot and the three boys sat with Michael next to Castiel, Dean next to Michael and Raphael next to Dean. Nobody spoke until lunch was halfway over and it was Gabriel who broke the silence.

 

“If you two hurt Dean and I find out about it, I will personally kill you both.” 

 

Dean had never heard the senior sound so serious, his voice was usually loud, full of excitement and laughter. But in that moment, Gabriel didn’t even seem like the same person. The fifteen year old looked around the table to see his friends nodding along before Benny added something, Dean, if something ever happens and you need a place to stay, I’ll be there in a heartbeat, brother.”

 

Castiel looked like he wanted to punch his cousin in the face, then do the same to his friend even if he didn’t hurt Dean.

 

Andrea was looking at Dean as though she was trying to tell him something but couldn’t say it out loud.

  
The younger boy didn’t know what to do. His friends sounded and looked like they actually were worried about him.  _ But you know they don’t actually care. No one does. No one should. _


	3. See? No one's here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A short telling of the times Dean's friends could not handle Michael and Raphael's actions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, this is really short. I've decided that if I post a short chapter every couple days or so and a long chapter every chance I get, there shouldn't be anymore really long gaps between chapters.

Dean soon learned that he was right. About everything. No one did care.

 

Andrea was the first to stop sitting with the group at lunch. It was a month after the boys’ first “date” and while Michael was in the middle of telling Dean that they were going on another date and this one would be all three of them, Andrea got up and left the table saying something that sounded to Dean like, “I can’t take this anymore.”

 

Benny was the next to leave. When he walked up to the table, Raphael pulled Dean into a kiss while Michael was telling Gabriel about their date and Dean saw the older boy shake his head at him in disappointment before going to join his girlfriend at her new table.

 

Gabriel left a week after Benny. Raphael had his right hand resting on Dean’s left thigh and Michael was wrapping his left arm around the smaller boy’s waist and pulling him to the older boy’s side, when Gabriel mumbled, “I’m gonna be sick” and left to find their other friends.

  
Castiel stayed for a month after everyone else was gone. When Dean and his boyfriends went to sit down, Castiel was already seated. Raphael sat in his usual seat and as Dean was about to sit in his, Michael sat in Dean’s seat. The green eyed boy was confused before he thought maybe Michael wanted him to sit in his seat, but before he sat down Michael grabbed his arm and said “No. You do not sit in my seat. You can sit in your seat like you do every day.” Dean was befuddled before he realized what the older man was saying, then he looked at the ground and asked, “Do I have to?” very quietly. Michael was not happy about that, he pulled Dean into his lap where he wanted the boy, before saying, “If I tell you to do something, you do not ask if you ‘have to’, you do it. Am I understood?” Castiel looked angry and was gone before Dean finished saying “Yes Sir.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things will start to look up for Dean eventually but the next couple chapters are going straight down.


	4. I Thought Pain Was The Worst Then I Learned What It's Like To Be Humiliated

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I added some new tags so be sure to read those and make sure that you are okay with everything that happens.

“What are you in trouble for, Dean?” Michael asked from his spot behind the younger boy, who was bent over the back of the couch in the men’s apartment while Raphael smirked at him from across the room.

 

Dean had been in this position a lot in the past two weeks. It’s near the end of the school year and the, now, eighteen year olds weren’t going to be able to watch Dean at school since they would be graduating so they’d gotten a group of juniors who will be seniors the next year to watch Dean so the boys would know if he did anything ‘wrong’. 

 

Today, Dean was getting punished for hugging Andrea, but he hadn’t even done it. Andrea had stopped him on the way to Michael’s car and told him to be careful before pulling him into a half-hug and he did not hug back. 

 

“I’m in trouble for hugging Andrea,” he said with his head down. That got him a solid slap on the ass and he knew what he’d done wrong. He looked into Raphael’s eyes and repeated his answer. Michael spanked him again on the same spot and he didn’t know what he’d done. 

 

Michael knew dean was confused so he explained, “You are in trouble for allowing someone to touch you when we did not say they could. You would have the same punishment if it had been your brother to hug you. You are ours.”

 

Dean got ten more slaps before Michael was pulling up his pants and underwear for him and his spanking was over. Before his sixteenth birthday, all of Dean’s spankings had been given with his pants still on. On his birthday, he got a spanking with his pants and underwear around his ankles and hadn’t gotten to have the added layers for protection since. Michael was always the one to give spankings, Raphael’s punishments were always worse though. A week after Dean turned sixteen is when he earned his first punishment from Raphael. 

 

( _ The older boy had asked him to go outside with him so he could smoke and Dean had said no. The green eyed boy had expected Raphael to tell him the same thing Michael did when he told him no but he hadn’t. He said okay and went out to smoke on his own. Once the man was back inside however, the tv was turned off and Dean was pulled off the couch. Raphael took off the boy’s shirt and had his pants around his knees before Dean knew what was happening. “Take off the rest of your clothes before I get back” he said while walking into his bedroom. He came back carrying one of his white t-shirts and told Dean to put in on. It was bigger on Dean than his own shirt but not by much, it only covered his ass and dick if he stood still and ducked his shoulders. Raphael pulled out his phone and called someone but Dean didn’t listen to their conversation. When he was done talking on the phone, he turned to the younger male and said, “You can only say no to me once a month. I’m only okay with it once, so now that you’ve used your no for the month, you don’t get a say in what happens tonight. A few friends are coming over and you are only allowed to wear what you have on now. You are not allowed to sit directly on any furniture. If you want to sit, you sit on someone’s lap. And you have to ask both me and whoever you want to sit with permission before you sit down. If you stand all night and don’t sit anywhere, that is fine but you’ll be standing a while because nobody is going home until you have been seated in everyone’s lap for more than ten minutes. If you want to pick anything up, you bend over to show everyone your ass. If you want to get something that’s higher than you can reach, you reach up to get it so that shirt goes up and everyone sees your dick. Do you understand me?” “Yes sir.”  _

 

_ Dean was humiliated all night. It only got worse when Michael got back from work and spanked Dean in front of the people who Dean had learned were named Gordon, Crowley, Victor, Uriel, and Alastair for not calling him to tell him about what was going on. _ )

 

Dean could handle pain better than most people thought, but humiliation was something he tried to avoid. 

 

Michael sat Dean on the couch and it hurt with the rough fabric of his underwear and the pressure on his freshly spanked bottom. Both of the men could tell Dean was in pain but Raphael was the one to say something, “Those underwear you have on aren’t exactly nice on a sore ass are they? I know something that wouldn’t hurt so bad.” Dean looked up at this and waited for him to elaborate. “Take of your pants and underwear and close your eyes,” the dark skinned man said before going into his room. He came out a second later and slid something up Dean’s legs, it felt cool on his skin and didn’t rub his red ass the wrong way once they were in place. Michael told Dean to open his eyes and he saw the green silk panties they had put on him. He also noticed that his underwear was nowhere to be seen. “Alright, Dean. It’s time to take you back to Bobby’s house. Put one your pants so we can go.” Dean knew better than to say no because it was Michael who said it. If Raphael had said it, he could use this month’s no. 

 

Once they were on the porch, Raphael told Dean that he should move in with them, then he sent to boy inside. 

  
Dean still didn’t know what they had done with  _ his _ underwear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No, they haven't actually had sex. I need to mentally prepare myself before I can write that.


	5. Sam And John Can Be Similar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean gets home and Sam gets angry.

Dean walked into the place his brother had come to call home, but the green eyed boy just referred to it as Bobby’s House. “Boy, do you know what time it is?” Bobby called from the living room. Sam ran down the stairs and stopped Dean before he could respond, “You were out until two in the morning with your boyfriends but I can’t stay at a friend’s house until ten? That’s not fucking fair! You’ve always been able to do anything you’ve wanted but I can’t do shit! You’ve missed my fucking birthday every year since I was six, Dean! Dad just let you do whatever the fuck you wanted and you didn’t spend any damn time with me so you know what? Fuck you Dean Winchester! You are not my brother! You never were!” Bobby was standing in the doorway and yelling at Sam to stop but the younger boy only talked over him. 

 

Once Sam was done speaking, Dean couldn’t stand, couldn’t breathe, couldn’t do anything. The sixteen year old fell to the ground and remembered. He remembered every time that John told him the same thing. “You don’t deserve a brother!” “Sam would be great without you!” “We don’t need you!” “I could afford more food for Sammy if I didn’t have to feed you!” “You’re the reason I can’t take care of Sam!” “You aren’t his brother! You never were!” 

***

Dean woke up in the bed he’s been sleeping in since he got to Bobby’s. He doesn’t consider anything his own anymore, everything is something that someone else could use but he’s wasting instead.

 

He sees movement out of the corner of his eye and hears Bobby saying “You okay kid? I mean, I know you probably aren’t, but do you need anything? You need to talk? You were saying some concerning things about John in your sleep…” After Dean stares at him and doesn’t respond for five minutes, Bobby says he’s gonna go see if they have any food for the boy to eat.

 

When Bobby opens the door, Dean hears him tell Sam “You need to apologize to your brother, boy. If you heard the things that kid said in his sleep, you’d be beggin him for forgiveness.”

 

Sam’s response was, “What brother?”

 

Dean could handle a lot. But not that. Dean could never handle that. 

 

He grabbed his phone and called Michael. Michael answered, “What do you want?”

 

“I need you to come pick me up from Bobby’s. I’m moving in.”


	6. Not Moving As Fast As You'd Like But It's Not Slow Enough For Me So I Guess We're Even

_ It’s been a month since Dean moved in with his boyfriends. Bobby has tried to get the boy to come back to his house but he also understands that the boy needs space from his brother. Dean and Sam haven’t said a word to each other. The younger of the two just doesn’t want to talk to Dean. The older of them wants nothing more than to talk to Sam but can’t, he either has a moment to then chickens out or his boyfriends will not let him. Raphael called the school and told them that Dean would be taking online classes and due to family stress, they could not say if he would be back to school or if he would graduate online. The two older boys finished up school and got their diplomas but never walked across the stage, they didn’t care to.  _

 

Dean was in Michael’s bed tonight. The men traded whose bed Dean slept in every night. They were being nice to Dean, it was not against his will. The first night that they picked him up, he slept on the couch and woke up in tears so they decided he would not sleep alone anymore. 

 

“You love me” Michael said as he rolled over and pulled Dean closer to his body.

 

“I love you” Dean replied as the eighteen year old started to kiss him.

 

_ Michael had started saying ‘you love me’ to Dean about a week after the boy moved in. Dean had started replying with ‘i love you’ after the third time he said it. Now the older of the two expected the reply and accepted nothing else. _

 

The green eyed boy did not realize that he was getting turned on due to the kissing and his teenage hormones until Michael touched his hard dick and said, “Oh good, just how I want you.”

 

The older of the two flipped Dean over onto his stomach and got off the bed, returning with lube and no clothes. 

 

_ Dean hadn’t worn any clothes in about a week. It had started when he realized that he didn’t have any clean shirts so he just walked around in sweatpants. Then his sweatpants were all dirty and he didn’t see the point in wearing jeans if he wasn’t leaving the apartment so he walked around in his underwear. One day, he just got out of the shower and didn’t put on clothes.  _

  
The sixteen year old realized that he’d never done this before and stated such but his concerns were met with a calm, “That’s why I’m getting it out of the way now.”


	7. What Does One Do When They Can't Even Talk To Themselves?

Dean is eighteen now. It’s been a long couple of years for him.

 

_The boy still lived with Michael and Raphael. But they didn’t even try to pretend that they were dating anymore. The two older men owned Dean; they rented him out to friends and made every decision for him. Dean hardly ever wore clothes, never slept in a bed without someone else in it, never spoke to someone unless spoken to first, and didn’t question what he was told to do._

 

Dean has been through a lot of shit in the past two years.  But he’s survived, and that’s all he needs.

Bobby stopped trying to get in contact with Dean after the boy’s seventeenth birthday. Dean doesn’t know that though; after he moved in, he never heard that Bobby tried to contact him at all. He thinks that Bobby gave up on him too.

Sam was still the subject of many of Dean’s nightmares. Dean saw Sam at the store one day that Raphael let him go with him; the boy pretended not to know Dean. Dean cried for three days after that.

None of Dean’s friends from high school have talked to him either. Not for lack of trying; but Dean doesn’t know that.

Dean didn’t even talk to Dean. That would involve thinking and thinking leads to more thinking, which leads to thinking about how alone the boy is.

In a world filled with people, Dean Winchester is completely alone and unable to change anything for himself.  


	8. INTERMISSION

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We're taking a break because I've been trying to write more and it all sucks.

I'm sorry guys and girls but I just can't seem to write anything that doesn't seem rushed and choppy and I just really feel like all of you deserve better writing than that. I'm going to be taking a vacation from writing until I can come up with something that doesn't completely suck. 

Thank you to those of you who have been reading this story since the beginning and have stuck with me while I try to finish it. And I apologize for the inconvenience.


	9. It’s Hard to Ask for Help (when you don’t know what’s wrong)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do apologize for how short this chapter is and how long it has taken me to add anything to this story at all. Life has been a lil weird for the past couple months.

Michael and Raphael told Dean that this weekend is important and he’d better not fuck it up.

They’re all going to a wedding for a distant cousin of Michael’s that he’d only met once in his life. He’d tried to get them out of going, but his father insisted that they go. This is the first time that Dean will be wearing clothes for an entire weekend in almost two years. Also, the first time that Dean’s meeting Michael’s family, but he isn’t concerned about that; his only job is to shut up and look pretty, just like normal.

________________________

Once the boys get on the plane, Dean learns something: Dean does not like airplanes. Everyone else on the plane learns it too. Michael and Raphael are not happy with him about that.

They arrive at the hotel and they aren’t even checked in before Michael’s mother has spotted them. She walks over and says hello to Michael and Raphael, then talks to the two of them for five minutes before saying “And who is this?” while pointing at Dean. The question isn’t directed at Dean and he knows it; this woman isn’t the type to ask him a question, she’d rather talk to her son. “Mother, this is our friend Dean,” Michael answered, just like he’d been answering almost every question concerning Dean for the last two years.


End file.
